Testicles

Today's episode is brought to you by the Gulf Coast Sur-Realist, a poor but passionate substitute for Wes. For those dear readers with dainty sensibilities, please cover your eyes while you read this. You may wish to dip your lacy hanky in ammonia to have available to revive yourself and have your funeral home fan handy to help you recover from your swoon because today's topic is testicles. Yes, testicles.

You well might wonder how a blog of social/political commentary could get into an anatomical discussion. Frankly, anything to do with politics should immediately bring at least a couple of body parts to mind. It would be so easy to digress at this point, butt . . . . .

Historically, the removal of testicles has signified the removal of manhood. We all know, of course, this does not work. Involuntarily emasculated harem masters often got their revenge because, contrary to popular belief, they actually could perform. This brings to mind locking the fox in the hen house. One ancient example of a eunuch is Henry, as seen in the picture below.

To get a better idea of the actual Egyptian pronunciation, use your mind's ear to imagine Margery Maine aka Ma Kettle, a woman of action, affirmatively shouting, "Henreeeeeee!!!!!!!" and you will have a better idea of how it might have sounded in ancient Egypt. Our next example of a eunuch was also an involuntary testicle donor; I believe his name was Wingate.

European history obviously also had its vicious moments all the way up through WWII with the horrifying medical experiments in the death camps.

And then there are those eunuchs who actually still have their testicles (as far as the rest of the world knows), but who have no real manhood. Perhaps we should first agree on some of the qualities of manhood. Manhood requires courage, integrity, honor, bravery, strength, morals, honesty, trustworthiness, caring, decency, protectiveness, kindness, truthfulness, reliability, willingness to uphold duties, sense of responsibilities, and many other positive characteristics.

Strangely, these characteristics were strikingly absent from the judge in Wes Teel's case. George Lucas, Wes' attorney, had a firm appointment with him to get a ruling on the montion that had been filed for months to allow Wes to stay out of prison pending the appeal. According to George, the judge dodge him all week instead of manning-up and just giving him a straight answer. Way to go, judge. Heap on a little more torture. I rest my case.

We will ccomplete today's anatomy lesson, class, by considering the following analogy (remember how we all had to take Miller's Analogy Test to get into grad school? I thought it was great fun!):

WES TEEL IS TO A REAL JUDGE

AS

WINGATE IS TO